ARROW TO THE KNEE
Growing up in the 80s was a blissful time, kids actually played outside, there was no dance moms, Kim Kardashians, and kids dressed like kids. I was accident prone back in the day, banging myself up with everything from bumps on the noggin, to the classic, scrapped up knees aka ´booboos´. A little band aid and Neosporin usually did the trick. Getting hurt, having rad scars was a badge of honor growing up in my hood.
—-FAST FOWARD 20 YEARS —-
Unfortunately I still am a bit accident prone. Two weeks ago I got low kicked HARD to my left knee during a sparring session. I knew my knee was injured at the time because I could hardly walk afterwards. (Note to any Thai boxing beginners, DO NOT SPAR WITH MANIACS, they will hurt you because they don´t have control of themselves or their egos.)
Limping home I immediately pop a pain killer, P.R.I.C.E. up the knee and continue watching trublood. Wake up the next morning, “CHRIST ON A CROSS” my knee is on fire, it’s like a took an arrow to the knee
Don´t ever go online after you injure yourself or fall ill because you probably will end up diagnosing incorrectly and LOSE YOUR SH#T! After a couple of minutes on I might have everything from a torn ACL, broken meniscus, dislocated kneecap, knee arthritis, and according to WEB-MD I apparently have signs of early onset osteoporosis? (SHRUGS SHOULDERS)
A condition prevalent in mostly middle-aged women go-figure. So its limping off to the Physiotherapist. I go for an expert opinion, which was booked within a week of my injury. (LIKE A SWEDE)
My therapist, Jonas, we hadd met before regarding a previous ailment so we have some banter at first then I get super cliche, “give it to me strait doc, will I ever breakdance again” he laughs then I proceed to tell him what happened exactly play by play. Afterwards he starts yanking my legs and messing with my knees … DUN DUN DUN… “you have a torn mcl”,WHAT!? “Oh its nothing major its just a sprained knee, it’ll heal within six weeks”. (PHEW) Dude, next time lead off with that, I almost started googling personalized knee braces.
Then it got weird. After the diagnoses,I asked about exercises to strengthen my knee to prevent further injuries like this and he says “theres an app for that”. WTF?! You are trained professional and THAT is your expertise knowledge of academia put to practice, “go to the google play store”? This is where people download games like bubble witch hayday farm melee saga and this I am supposed to get my physical therapy now too? I know technology has advanced the healthcare into the 21st century with an abundance of robotics, programs and medicine.
We may have jump the shark, “convenience” sets a dangerous precedent to allow patient to rehab without proper professional supervision otherwise I would’ve diagnosed myself and self-medicated- WHICH DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF HEALTHCARE!
What happens if I execute these exercises wrong, further damaging my MCL, what if I have a slow 4G speed? Don´t get me wrong the healthcare system here is great and my knee is less limpy but think 20 years ahead. Is healthcare going to be app based? Are we destined to rely solely on technology, robot proxies instead of actual humans? That makes healthcare super casual, just chat via hologram “hey doc I got this lump on neck” , “OH NO WORRIES BRO THERES AN APP FOR THAT!” May god help us all!
Hopefully by then I have enough bit-coins saved up for those bionic knees that plays classic kanye-west when I go running. Damn the future is now, don’t be too scared because there’s an app for that too!